Depression, House Guest, Bear, Heartbreak

My Husband’s Depression: An Unwanted House Guest

(This is a guest post from my wife, Elise)   My husband breaks my heart at least once a week. It normally happens in the course of everyday conversation. He’ll offer a glimpse into what his life is like with severe depression and instantly my heart shatters into a thousand pieces. Most recently it was […]

Temple Bells, Frustrations

The Temptations and Frustrations of Unemployment

I’ve been on the job hunt for 14 months. I’ve had nothing to do on most days for the last 6 months. Everything I imagined I might do or be has failed to materialize. It’s hard to describe the slow decay of the mind and body that unemployment foments. I have tried to keep busy, […]

India

Three weeks in India and nothing to say?

As I have been traveling in India these last three weeks, my mind has been swimming with questions, reflections, insights, and surprises. So why haven’t I written more? I think there is something in me that has learned to take a wait and see approach to life. I find a lot of comfort in things […]

Loneliness

A Deep Loneliness

There is a deep loneliness that is always with me. It wants to be talked about, and then scolds me for indulging its desire. It assures me that I am a fraud, even as it provokes me to prove myself. The loneliness is always there, always hurting me. Its loyalty a perverse reminder of what […]

Saved

When She Saved My Life…

When I met her, I was more of a mess than I knew. I was a college dropout, convinced that I couldn’t learn. I was depressed in the kind of hopeless way that is even deeper than my usual morose. I very well may have run off into the woods and abandoned all relationships. That’s […]

Read

What If No One Read It?

There is something much more terrifying about writing down my views than speaking them. What if my honesty costs me a job? Something I don’t care about except that I have like $150,000 in student loans (academic assurances that PhD’s are the “original” doctors don’t change the fact that I would have gotten a bigger ROI as […]

bears

I Live With Bears

I live with bears. Be cautious, but do not be alarmed. The bears I live with are dangerous, but they are not bad. They are simply bears. Their presence is not to be feared nor taken lightly. Yes, they can kill you, but they probably will not. No, they are not a problem and no, […]